Why does my dog not look at me?
Your dog is ignoring you, which you don’t enjoy. Nobody likes to be ignored. Even some people are very upset about it. They consequently frequently experience even more disdain. Dogs frequently ignore commands, which happens a lot. Owners of dogs frequently give them little incentives to listen and plenty of disincentives. Here is an illustration of a typical scenario:
When a dog owner calls their dog to “come,” the dog ignores them; they call louder and more angrily; the dog ignores them again; they march angrily toward the dog, clenching their teeth with all the determination of someone not willing to tolerate this level of disrespect (especially in public); the dog starts to crawl reluctantly toward the owner, sensing that their number is up; and finally, the owner takes the dog forcefully by the collar, possibly even throwing it.
I have no words to describe how silly this is!
This “technique” plainly goes about doing it in the wrong way, yet it may eventually produce a result. Without mentioning the potential harm from physical punishment, which I believe does not need to be mentioned to anyone subscribing to a dog training newsletter series, it stresses out your dog in the short term. Long-term, this type of punishment creates a relationship built on threats and fear rather than on a healthy dose of respect.
Your dog requires a leader and the ability to understand and comply with what we refer to as “commands.” That does not, however, imply that you should “order” your dog around. Dogs can’t speak English, so we must make short, straightforward, and direct “commands” for them—not because they enjoy being commanded in this way. Although you must be the alpha dog, you don’t have to make everything seem dangerous to show your dominance. If everything seems like a threat, you won’t make any progress.
A dog typically disobeys directions for one of two reasons, according to popular belief:
1) They fail to comprehend you.
If your tone contradicts your command, you could not be giving your dog a clear understanding of what you want him to do because dogs respond more to your tone than to the words you use.
For illustration, imagine you had a dog named Bob who often leaps up on you. Get down means “This game is fun, let’s continue playing,” which is what you are telling Bob if you say it to him while laughing and gently, almost playfully pushing him away.
I frequently observe dog owners making this error.
Another similar error is asking a dog to do something rather than telling them to. Consequently, if you say “Bob, come here” in a voice that sounds more like “Could you please maybe come here, please??? Then you have essentially presented Bob with a decision. So, invite Bob over. Make it apparent that you mean business without shouting or making demands.
Make sure your commands are clear enough as well. If you’re lucky enough to have a dog that understands commands like “Bob, bring me a beer from the fridge,” then you won’t need to stress too much about this. But most of us do. Keep your orders brief and straightforward. Make certain they don’t sound too much alike.
Lastly, it is always much better to pair hand signals with your verbal commands. In the first part of this course on problem jumping, I talked about using a simple extended hand gesture to tell your dog to “stop” before jumping up on you. My adult dogs are all to the point where I mostly use my voice when I want to “talk” to them. But when I want them to DO something, I can make eye contact and use a hand signal to get them to come, sit, lie down, get in the car, go inside or outside, wait at the curb, etc. Ideally, you’ll also get to this point, but you need to establish those hand signals and use them.
You probably need further training if after ruling out all of these possibilities your dog still doesn’t seem to comprehend you. If it applies, take into account the likelihood that senior dogs’ hearing may be failing. Another situation when hand signals can be quite helpful.
2) They don’t care about you.
When your dog refuses to follow instructions, it means they are aware of what you want them to do but have made the decision not to.
But how can you tell, you ask? How can you know if your dog understands what is being said but doesn’t want to comply?
The response is highly influenced by your dog’s body language. It is more likely that they don’t comprehend if they exhibit signals of anxiety when you are giving training directions (submissive stance, avoiding eye contact, ears back, tail tucked). When this occurs, owners may exacerbate the situation by using additional force. In contrast, it is more likely that your dog has chosen not to listen if they are posing confidently and do not appear stressed. They might even be obstinate, establishing direct eye contact with you, barking at you, then fleeing as soon as you get close.
This shows a problem with dominance. In addition to having a good time to play with, you will need to take initiative to establish yourself as the alpha dog. But there are also some quick actions you can take to deal with an obstinate mutt more successfully. Let’s go back to the all-too-common instance of the wandering dog and the “come” command that was heard but not obeyed.
Always speak in an upbeat, joyful, even delighted tone of voice.
• When calling, try bending over. When they arrive, extend your arms as if to indicate a hug or praise.
• if you can, try going the other direction. As a result, your dog is forced to choose: Go home with you and get dinner, or stay and get left.
• No matter how long it takes, always give your dog praise when they arrive.
• When your dog approaches you without being asked, praise them. Make it so they adore visiting you by creating a welcoming environment.
Never:
• unless safety is a concern, chase a dog that won’t come.
• calling you to correct your dog.
• invite your dog over for a task they obviously dislike (having their nails cut, getting a bath, etc.).
One more piece of advice: I strongly advise naming your subsequent dog “Boss” if you are still struggling with your position as the dominant dog. “Come here, Boss!” “Boss, sit down!” “Go fetch the boss!” I can assure you that this treatment is quite successful.
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